I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
