I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
