i jhust puked up my retainher.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
