Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
