mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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