You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Randomize
