maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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