Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
