fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
