Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
birth control should be required to get into college
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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