he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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