like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
