Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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