I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
