Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
