She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
