he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
