this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
