He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
