Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Randomize
