How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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