Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
