I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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