woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
