I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
