You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
