It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
