You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
third nipple confirmed
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
