remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
