Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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