THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
