dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just found puke in my bra..
She even gives head with a lisp.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
