I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Naked Twister starts at high noon
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
