so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
