I hate all girls vehemently.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
