Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
