He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
