Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
