You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
