I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Don't you send me to vm
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
