Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
