Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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