I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
