i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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