You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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