walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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