He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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