all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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