2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
