my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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