Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
