I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
