Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
