I showed him my bush... on skype.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
