i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
