I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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