Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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