Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
there was a trapeze. enough said
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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