Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
